“Oh come on Mom! Don’t go all Wired Moms on me” This is what I heard the other day when I told my tween that they could not sign up for an interactive website that required the minimum age to be 13.
The TOS ( Terms of Service ) explained that this website required its online users to be at least 13. There are a number of parents out there who have buckled to their children’s wishes to let them enter a fake birthday so that they can register for a variety of websites – and even more kids who are probably not even running this by their parents.
But parents need to be involved and TOS terms need to be followed. There is a very good reason for this. In the article linked to this post a 12 year old boy posted a personal web video blog to his youtube account and posted topics that related to his faith. Most recently though, he had posted a video blog about gay marriage that had people responding to him as though he was a full grown adult – and many of those replies were vicious and profane. Other concerned users were able to help actually locate the boy and make sure he was ok because they were concerned about his safety.
The Terms of Service for YouTube are not only very clear but also very kind:
12. Ability to Accept Terms of Service
You affirm that you are either more than 18 years of age, or an emancipated minor, or possess legal parental or guardian consent, and are fully able and competent to enter into the terms, conditions, obligations, affirmations, representations, and warranties set forth in these Terms of Service, and to abide by and comply with these Terms of Service. In any case, you affirm that you are over the age of 13, as the YouTube Website is not intended for children under 13. If you are under 13 years of age, then please do not use the YouTube Website. There are lots of other great web sites for you. Talk to your parents about what sites are appropriate for you.
There are other great websites out there for kids. And while the major websites like YouTube, Facebook, MySpace and others are very powerful and tempting here are a couple of good reasons to keep your kids to the TOS.
1. These are the Terms of Service of the website
Remember your dad always saying “As long as you live in my house you will follow my rules”. Well each website has its own rules and that is a good enough reason.
2. It’s the law
COPPA was enacted in 1998 to protect our children on the Internet. READ THE FTC page on COPPA.
Meaning that websites are operating in good faith but they are required to address the coppa act in their TOS.
3. Let our kids be kids
Yes, it is true, that kids are growing up so much faster these days. But there is no reason we have to push them into the grown up world. Everyone acknowledges that kids are growing up hardwired to new technology but just because they know how to navigate a website doesn’t necessarily mean they are emotionally prepared for the onslaught of bad behavior by some creepy older faceless and unknown internet user.
4. Let your kids know you care
They may complain at first and tell you that all of their friends are doing this ( that one never gets old ). It is time for us to parent our kids and let them know that we love them enough to care about these little details. In a recent Good Morning America town hall meeting with Parry Aftab and Wired Safety there was a beautiful exchange between a mother and her daughter. The daughter had sent indecent pictures of herself over her cell phone to a boyfriend and this was discovered. The mother began to cry just a little and when asked why she was crying her response was that she just loved her daughter so much. Her daughter then went on to say that she didn’t even really mind her mom looking over her shoulder anymore. It seems like there should be some way to get this message through to our kids before something bad happens.
5. We need the kids to identify great websites for kids
The great thing about the Internet is that it does respond to the wants and interests of its users. The more kids using KID websites the more kid websites will be developed. So, let your tween know that they are actually helping their little brother or other little kids who haven’t even started using the Internet yet.
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